More Evidence of Global Warming

SAN FRANCISCO – The Global Defense Council has released new data that reinforces the need for action in the fight against Global Warming.

According to the group, the average temperature across the United States has jumped over 25 degrees in just the past four months.

Said Dr. Kevin M. Trudeau, director of the GDC:  “This is a catastrophic change in climate. To have the temperature change so drastically over so short a time could have devastating ecological consequences!”

The group was also quick to point out that the temperature change is not uniform.

In southern California (where vehicle emission standards and other environmental laws are toughest) the temperature has remained almost unchanged, while the northeast portion of the country (where laws are not as stringent) has experienced a massive climate change since January. Average daily temperatures have jumped from a sub-freezing 25 degrees (Fahrenheit) to a scorching 80 degrees.

“Unless there is some radical change in temperature, perhaps sometime in late September or early October, the ocean will be at a rolling boil by the end of the year! I urge everyone to take action now to prevent this environmental catastrophe!” said Trudeau, before exiting the press conference in his SUV.

Dr. Trudeau will be touring college campuses across the United States in his private jet, in an attempt to bring awareness to the gross overconsumption of fossil-fuels.


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