held captive by vaulting Ambition

A large congregation of no small prestige calls out to me from a distance, beckoning me unto service (“…you have been recommended for a position of ministerial leadership with our church…”), an offer comely with garnishing both personal and professional.

My heart swells with conceit and my keening mind is filled with lascivious inclinations of power and affluence (“…we offer the following salary, benefits and bonus package…”) surely the Lord would have me increase as such…  surely.

Have I not labored and toiled toward such ends? Have I not lamented the dearth of men with my caliber of knowledge and wisdom in positions of leadership within Christendom? I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired this.

Is not my vanity justified thus? The intoning knell of my conscience is only a practiced false humility (“…yea, hath God said?”) a hindrance to be ignored (“…you come highly recommended to us…”) in the face of such glowing endorsement (“…your God-given talent…”) and praise (“…your accomplishments…”) that I must remove my hand from this Plow and venture into greener pastures.

O, my restless Soul, I am held captive by vaulting ambition (“…my most sincere gratitude for the honor of your generous offer…”) LORD, hinder my yearning bosom and may Your love constrain me unto obedience (“…I simply cannot accept the position with your assembly at this time…”) protect me…  from myself.

“…in closing, I trust that you all will find a far worthier man than I to occupy this position. I pray it is so, and that GOD shall receive the due that is His alone.”

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Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the household of the LORD forever.

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2 thoughts on “held captive by vaulting Ambition

  1. You have most aptly depicted this type of experience. I don’t know that I’ve learned how to distinguish my desire from His clearly. Heaven help us all to heed the Beloved Son–hear Him.

  2. I appreciate your kind words and support.

    This was an onerous decision, due in no small part to all the conflicting variables, and I can only hope to have served Him in following the path I have chosen. Time will tell…

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