“…so we beat on, boats against the current,
borne back ceaselessly into the past…”
It has been a long and winding road that has gotten us to this point; even so, there is much that remains to be done. This ending is but another beginning.
Alone and awake at this wee small hour of the eve, I sit in quiet repose… in heavy reflection of that which has passed, in deep contemplation for what is to come.
It will be only two more hours until I am gone from here, our airplane circling high over the Chesapeake before leaning into the Easterly winds. Fleeing the rising Sun, we will chase the dying night Westward into faraway Texas. O, how faraway it seems!
My heart is heavy, with a deep throbbing ache. There are so many here that I shall miss terribly. Friends I have made, dear Brethren who have blessed me in great abundance, peers and colleagues of various fields of industry whom have enriched my person in various attributes.
Far more than this, will be my ten. I do not mean “my” ten to imply any relationship of “fealty” but that these ten dear ones were lost sheep brought into the Fold as an implicit consequence of my direct relationship with them. Of course, it is the Spirit which has wrought a work in their Souls and shall maintain them according to His good purposes… but I was blessed to act as a servant unto them in this regard, despite my clumsy and meager talents, and bear witness to the Power of GOD.
O my Soul… it has been my honor to be their friend, teacher, mentor, and to disciple them in their spiritual infancy and childhood in The Way. May they find a far greater minister than I in the person of Christ, as they are brought into a mature Faith through His manifold servants.
Verily, if my time here was only to be a meager vessel by which these ten were brought the water of the Word, it will not have been in vain… if anything can be said to thus.
My dreams, aspirations and goals for this place are spent. I feel emptied-out and forfeit. My vision for Annapolis is dim and fading, I can see nothing further for me here. All roads return me from where I have come, to where I am going.
St. John’s College, having long lost its foothold in my priority, has fallen into a mere footnote… an obscure aspect of trifling trivia in the great tapestry in which my life is weaving. The other inroads and outreaches I have made heretofore, though ne’er forgotten, must be relegated to my hindsight… there will come other avenues and endeavors for me to apply my energies.
For the better part of ten years I have dwelt in the loose places of exile, playing strange games… now Night arrives with her purple Legion.
So… I shall retire to my sighing dreams. For upon this new ‘morrow I will return to the land of my Birth.
I want to be ready.