New Year`s Day

DEAD. The dead year is lying at my feet, in this strange hour the past and future meet. There is no present, no land in the vast Sea; appalled, I stand here in Eternity.

O, what is Time? O, what is Life, the fire, that thrills my pulses with its large desire? Since at each step I rend a fragment of my Soul – and growth means dying, whither is the goal?

The old, old questions!

…and yet I do not shrink from bitter truths;

I do not fear to drink even to the dregs

…the cup that tears may fill.

I would know GOD`s Truth, though it were human ill.

I have cast down the idols in my mind, which sought to comfort me for being blind. I need no pleasant lie to cheat the night – I need GOD`s Truth, that I may walk aright.

That, and that only! With unflinching eyes I would tear through the secret of the skies! Smile on, O stars, in me there is a might which dares to scale your large empyreal height!

Yet, and yet, how shall it be? Time sweeps me on, and what one day I hold, the next is gone. The gilded heavens are changed, every face they wore – a moment back, is lost to come no more.

O my Soul, along the restless current drifts, and to its sight the source of radiance shifts. Wildly I strive some gleam of Truth to save, and cry: “GOD help me!” battling with the wave.

GOD help me?

For I know the prayer is vain,

…though unheeded it shall rush up to my lips again.

I know His help was given with the Breath…

…that ever leads me thus to struggle on against the Death.

No further help. No. No help beyond the Soul, the fragment of Himself I hold in my control. From highest Heaven, no stronger aid to lead me through the fight, in Heaven… no higher aim to bind me to the right.

Thus stand I on the brink of this new year, darkness upon me – though not the work of fear.

Powerless, I know to war against the current`s sweep…

…powerful, alone, my own Soul`s truth to keep.


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