…from Matthew`s Confessions, chapter XIII

Dear LORD GOD. Master of All. Creator. Father…

See how I rage inside in spite and fury;

hear me ill-tempered and ill-mannered,

spurning and deriding;

know my lusty eye and ravenous belly;

know my hands that have bruised and broken;

my deceitful heart that can lie in the midst of my prayers.

I know the dizzying lunacy of drunkenness,

the hollow delight of carnal pleasures,

the insane seeming-freedoms of blasphemy,

the malice-filled madnessin spilling another man`s blood.

I know the fell creature that hides

hides behind the polite smiles and inculcate niceties

hiding the impulses to destroy, seduce, conquer, and curse.

LORD…

I love the feel of wet grass underfoot

in the cool of a Summer evening;

the scent of my wife`s hair

when she arises in the morning

(so quietly as to not awaken me)

her neck, her eyes, her lips, her;

and the soury sweet burn

of the Vineyard`s spirits

rollicking down my throat;

and woolen pajamas, and kisses,and apples, and laughter, and dirt;

and the way I often weep upon the Dawning of a Sunrise new…

…the way a man grips my hand in handshake

as though I am what holds him upon the earth,

the wild desperation of creative destruction

simmering under the thickness of our brows.

I am… I am… I am a man enmeshed,

tangled by the steamy tendrils of Your dulcet Summer days,

enslaved to the fixed strictures of a Sovereign LORD.

Wherefore have You come to me, sweet Master of Infinity?

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